AUTISM SHUT UP

Devon Webb
 

Sometimes I wish my autism would just shut up

it’s like I’m pulling all the words out my mouth like

a magician’s silk scarves but

they’re all the wrong colour

it’s like… I can’t tie them all together

there’s a concept in my head but I try to express it &

now there’s just a mess

just um all the magnets fell off the fridge &
I can’t make any poems

how am I so eloquent when I write things down but

such a fumbling bitch out loud

all the coherent sentences have taken a

day trip out of my head

& I’m grasping at clouds

at a damp & vaguely aesthetic condensation of

insubstantial drip

look it all makes so much sense in my head I swear

when I imagine these conversations I’m better at them

I’m so sassy & chic

actually though I’m so HAHAHA WHAT THE

FUCK WAS I SAYING

I’M SO UM YOU KNOW LIKE

trying to be direct

but being too direct or failing

being some dramatic end of the spectrum

being so like on the spectrum you know

I swear I have a point I am trying to get across

but it just falls apart like Lego.

Devon Webb is a 25-year-old writer based in Aotearoa New Zealand. She writes full-time, exploring themes of femininity, vulnerability, anti-capitalism & neurodivergence. She shares her poetry online, through live performance, & has had her work included in over forty publications worldwide. She is an in-house writer for Erato Magazine, an editor for Prismatica Press, & is currently working on the final edits of her debut novel, The Acid Mile. She can be found on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok & Bluesky at @devonwebbnz.